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Working With Your Tough Kids and Even Those That Aren't

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Trey Busted Himself…But Jeff Still Was Ready

So I (Trey) am sitting here in bed with a heating pad on my back having just gotten off the phone with Jeff.  Jeff in his ever-diligent self has already put together a great set of articles on dealing with anxiety in kiddos so we talked about what happened.  

So here’s what happened.  Yesterday (Wednesday evening) I was chainsawing a tree branch that fell during some heavy rains we had here in West Texas.  As I was stooped over cutting I heard, felt, and saw a “POP!” in my back.  Saw it you say?  Yes.  My vision went white for a few seconds and I had a very hard time getting up while saying, in the most strained words you have ever hear Trey utter…”oh!  Mah back!”  Now that I think about it, it was a fairly good reenactment of Mr. Incredible when his back popped out of place.

My Back

So Jeff and I have discussed that I don’t think I can sit in a chair long enough to record.  Not without copious amounts of drugs, which might created a very, very interesting show.  Of course, Jeff suggested that I should pop pills and do it anyways…for your entertainment.  But instead, I’m going to sit here with my heating pad, drugs, and sharpen some of my blades (strange…I know.  But therapeutic for me).  
So Jeff and I wish you a very happy weekend and we will see you next week for our Anxiety episode.

httpv://youtube.com/watch?v=oK9oPk8bsvk

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Episode 308 FPN Assertive Kids: The Anti-Bullying

 

Tough Guys and Girl by Zhetta at Flickr

Tough Guys and Girl by Zhetta at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:

The connections between lack of assertiveness and bullying.

How to combat bullying, by teaching kiddos to be confident and how teaching.

How teaching assertiveness requires us to be assertive as parents.

 

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Episode 307 FPN Who Are You Trey?

TreyJoin us as we discuss:

Often I get plenty of questions that are personal in nature.  When I do, I throw them in a note system and let them sit until I get enough built up to make a show. 

Unfortunately I let too many build up and did as many as I could in a show.  So tonight we are going to cover

Does Trey have siblings or am I an only child?

What is up with all the firearms I talk about from time to time. 

Whats my favorite music selections.

AND MORE

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Episode 91 RFGP Carpe Summer: Summer Ideas

 

Dive Into Summer by Sky Noir at Flickr

Dive Into Summer by Sky Noir at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:

How summer is upon us all and what we can do about it.

Some of the Emery and Gibson traditions we partake in during summer.

A list of 100 fun activities that you can do with your kiddos that are both elaborate and/or inexpensive. 

 

SHOW NOTES

100 Summer Fun Ideas for Kids and Parents

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Episode 306 FPN Remix: Teaching Kids Money

 

Money by Tax Credits at Flickr

Money by Tax Credits at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:

Today, how most American parents have a very skewed perspective on money and how we have taught our kids to think the exact same way.

How money is not the root of all evils.  But what is?

So how do we teach money to kids and how we can start young.

SHOW NOTES

We Work Hard We Play Hard – blog I did a while back on how hard work and money go hand in hand. 

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Episode 305 FPN Top 11 Lessons of the Last 2 Months

 

Trooper in the Rain by Si Longworth at Flickr

Trooper in the Rain by Si Longworth at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:

The top 11 lessons I’ve learned in the last two months.  

Over this period of time I have learned more in 2 months time than in the last 9 months.  

How moving, foster to adoption, and the most awesome home ever have changed and grown me.

 

 

 

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Episode 90 RFGP The Art of Parenting: Don’t Be Stupid

 

Be Awesome by .mused™ at Flickr

Be Awesome by .mused™ at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:

A wonderful article about a woman that any parent could use to take a lesson from.

The art form of taking parenting to the next level and what are the special ingredients.  

The need to reject stupidity for intelligent thinking in our parent actions.

 

SHOW NOTES

Share This With All The Schools – wonderful article by Glennon.

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Episode 304 Foster Kids: How FPN Can Help You Cause I Have One Too

 

Lost Children by tomaszd at Flickr

Lost Children by tomaszd at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:

How The Family Podcast can help you with your new or long-time foster/adopt kiddo.

Our experiences with our foster to adopts kiddo and how well the FPN thinking and techniques have worked.  

A foundation of 4 things you HAVE to be doing for success. 

 

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Episode 303 Media Sucks Monday

Media Sucks MondayJoin us as we discuss your media requests:

The two worst arguments against homeschooling, while also being the most popular.  

Four ways to help boys handle emotions. 

Teacher caught grabbing kindergarten student by the face.

7 year old suspended for groping a girl.  How parents need to also teach kids assertiveness.  

 

SHOW NOTES

Behold: The Two Absolutely Worst Arguments Against Homeschooling

Four Ways to Help Boys Process Emotions

Teacher Caught on Tape Grabbing Kindergartener by the Face

7 Year Old Kicked Out for Groping Girl

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FPN Blog: We Work Hard We Play Hard

 

We Work Hard We Play Hard

We Work Hard We Play Hard

A mantra you hear in our house repeated over and over and over and over, is the phrase “we work hard.  We play hard.”  Corrie and I desire to help our kids connect the action of hard work with value like money.  We want our kids to have cool toys, but we never want them thinking they miraculously appear out of thin air.

Toys, bikes, iPads, xBoxes, Xbox games, or PowerWheel vehicles, all come with an ascribed value typically tied to a set of manhours.

Of course kids want every toy in the world!  They don’t connect the amount of work hours that is connected to that item/toy/xBox game and frankly, most adults don’t either (I’m still relearning myself).  We rarely look at that $25 McDonalds bill and think “is this crappy-for-me hamburger, fried, and sugar water worth working at my job for 1 hour (if you make $25/hr)?”  Or look at that $200 iPhone and ask ourselves “does this phone help me enough to justify spending and entire days work on it?”

So how do we get our kids to do this.  To not want every toy they can ever see or want?  The solution: we have to teach them work ethic.

So many of you are wondering where The Real Family Guys Podcast is.  We passed our homestudy yesterday and the caseworker, in regards to the house, used the work “impeccable” and also noted that once our paperwork is done, she will verify us “on the spot.”  So we are likely weeks away from getting our baby in our home officially.

We had a wonderful celebratory evening last night with Outback Steakhouse, some sun tea, and a good Cherry Cavendish tobacco in my pipe.  My wife, who has busted so much butt getting this place in order, crashed out at 9:45pm, about the time that Jeff texted me.  He asked if we wanted to take a week off to enjoy the celebration, to which I agreed…and crashed out moments later.

So I have this morning off, as I do typically have many Fridays off during the summer, so I’m working on my homestead.  Anna elected to go with Momma early this AM to help her clean houses to which we pay her in accordance to how well she works.  After the chores that the kids did this morning (I did not ask them to….or even require it), Cora decided to come outside and help me work.  So we loaded her up with her shovel and got to work digging.

Cora Digging

Cora Digging

Let me explain how we do this.  I do not pay for kiddie-jobs.  By that I mean I do not pay kids big mooonies for working like a little kid.  If you work like a little kid I will pay you like a little kid.  If you work hard like an adult, I will pay you like an adult and it’s not uncommon for a 4 year old or a 6 year old to get paid minimum wage because my kids will BUST BUTT!

So Cora (4 y/o) asked to work today so she grabbed a shovel and she helped build water-retention berms around my new fruit trees.  When we work the kids frequently repeat the phrase “we work hard to play hard” over and over and over and over.  This is a good thing.  They are reminding themselves that we put in hard work so we can play hard.  If we want to have neat toys, or drink sodas at the part, or a sundry of other play-things we can do, we must put in hard work.  As Robert Heinlein was so fond of saying, “there’s no such thing as a free lunch.”

Cora Spreading Compost Pile Mulch

Cora Spreading Compost Pile Mulch

So Anna worked with Momma from 9am until 12pm while Cora worked from 10am until 12pm.  And she worked hard and better than some of the new young guys I’ve had on my teams over the years.  Kids can learn to work like adults, but only when adults do too.

Oooooh!!!!  You heard me.  To teach kids to be hard workers, we must first reject the consumer mindset ourselves.  We must learn to see every curtain, every bullet, every soda, every Snickers, as man hours…then teach that to your kiddos.

Yes, your kids can learn to love work because they will begin to realize that the things that they want are a job away….or maybe 2-5 jobs away.  But they will begin to develop a craving for work since, when they work hard, they play hard.

Cora Helping with Tree Berms

Cora Helping with Tree Berms

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