Episode 175 Are Smartphones Really the Devil

Join me as we discuss:

How we have demonized smartphones and kids combination. Right or wrong?

Article called If I Were Queen, Kids and Screens

How the phone is not the problem, but we typically are.
SHOW NOTES

There have been astounding amounts of articles, news, and research that has made the words kids and cellphones the same as saying Bonnie and Clyde. With pictures and videos of people walking into pools and traffic while texting, or two people instant messaging each other from the same room the newer smartphones seem to be receiving their Nobel Satan Prize.

But is all this attention and demonization necessary? Today we cover an article by Kimberly Brooks where she incriminates the smartphone in the hands of kiddos. I vehemently disagree.

Though cellphones can absolutely be a problem to kids, I see it as no different from an addiction to baseball card collecting.

The issue lies in one simple word: relationship. I think this trend we are seeing is more closely linked to poor relationship. Parents have opted to ask the question “how do I get my kid to stop using technology” rather than asking “how can I teach my kid to make healthy decisions about responsible technology use.”

If I Were Queen, Kids and Screens – article referenced in show.

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Friday Show: Trey’s Interview from The Survival Podcast Network on Raising Tough Kids

For today’s episode I had the honor of being interviewed by Jack Spirko at www.thesurvivalpodcast.com on how to make your kids tougher. We discuss the difficult questions of “could your kiddo handle really tough crap?” See the link is Show Notes to find the interview.

Could they handle Grandpa Joe dying. Would they work through Nemo the goldfish and a toilet flush. Or worse yet, could they deal with loosing all their toys, home, or maybe us after hurricane Sandy. I say yes!

Though the answer is slightly more complicated than “just teach them stuff” it if very possible to teach kids to handle challenging issues, without throwing them into a tank of sharks. They can learn how to tackle problems without our help and really prepare them for if times get tough, or even if they dont. *tip of the hat to TSP listeners and my fellow MSB members.

SHOW NOTES

The Survival Podcast: Episode 1026 Building Resilience in Our Children

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Episode 20 The Real Family Guys Podcast: Sweet and Sour Thanksgiving

Join me as we discuss:

*Nooo, not a Chinese food Thanksgiving. Jeff and I discuss learning to be thankful for both the hard times…and yeah. Even if the turkey is burnt.

How do you develop these skills. Neither Jeff nor myself just knew how to act this way. We had to practice, consistently.
SHOW NOTES

Today Jeff and I discuss Thanksgiving and how we remain thankful for the awesome things we have. But we also take a different approach to Thanksgiving.

We discuss learning to be thankful for the hard things in life.

Things like the burnt turkey and Uncle Paul that annoys us to death.

Now, I’m not referring to the idea that you are filled with joy-joy feelings when things go poorly. I’m talking about learning to be thankful for things that we do not necessarily like. Difficulties produce strength. Like with weight lifting or struggling to tie a shoe as a kid. The struggle helps us learn.

Could you be thankful for the crap in your life?

Jeff and I challenge you to do just that this holiday. As you are going round-table with what you are thankful for, tell your family you are thankful for all the crap that happened to you…then explain why.

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Episode 173: Taking Resilience a Step Deeper and Raising Tough Kids

Join me as we discuss:

*A “hello” to TSP listeners and my fellow MSB members.

*A more in-depth look at how we raise resilient kids.

*A follow up post from last weeks article on Hurricane Sandy and getting kids ready for difficult things like death or natural catastrophies.

*What is resilience and how it has much less to do with self-esteem than we think.

SHOW NOTES

The devastating Hurricane Sandy has left her mark on the United States. My heart and authentic prayers go out to all that were affected and I love to see how many are responding with their time and money to aid their fellow man, their fellow Americans. Right after Sandy blew through I had a young mom ask me about talking to their kids about Sandy, and whether they should. Another mother who survived the storm asked what she should say to her kid about the storm? These all let to last weeks show on how to talk to kids about disasters.

Lessons from Sandy: Kids and Disasters – episode 170 on helping kids understand and helping them through major disasters.

Avoiding Teacup Kids: Dr. Donna Volpitta on Raising Resilient Kids – episode 112 on raising resilient kids.

Episode 19 The Real Family Guys Podcast: Handling Kiddo Disappointment

Join me as we discuss:

Teaching kids on handling disappointment.

How to deal with “that’s not fair” and where the heck does it come from.

What do you do when your kid wants something at the store and you just cannot afford it.

PLUS: as sneak peek at how Jeff and Trey roll out their shows and get their awesomeness on before the red record light turns on. (at very end)

SHOW NOTES

Okay, okay. So we don’t necessarily agree with the featured image on this episode, but it brings up a great topic. Today Jeff and I discuss dealing with disappointment in our kids. All of this is kind of funny, or at least ironic, since I had problems with the recording and I had to start our recording over. Disappointment would be putting it lightly.

Despite the humor (it’s funny now…but it wasn’t then) we discuss how our reactions to disappointment serve as a template for our kids and how they respond. We cover why kids learning how to handle disappointment is so important and a couple of stories of disappointment that Jeff and I experienced as kids that still ruminate.

My favorite, Jeff goes over excellent strategies for handling “it’s not fair” and when a kid wants a toy from the store.

Episode 172 School Sucks: The Failure of Modern Education

Join me as we discuss:

The failure of modern education, where is stems from, and why I am vehemently disappointed in our system, teachers, and parents.

Why do kids think that school sucks: because it does.

How to we un-suck school for our kids?

SHOW NOTES

When I was looking for an image for the show today I searched the Creative Commons pictures for “school sucks” and returned a myriad of pictures, mostly of kids that were doing something with the likes of “skipping school and at (fill in the blank). SCHOOL SUCKS!”

Why do kids think school sucks so much? Well, frankly……because it does.

I’m reading a book by Seth Godin called Tribes where he discusses the mentality of the factory worker. The worker that comes to work and rests assuredly that his job will be there tomorrow. He has a job and a boss that tells him what to do and how to do it. No questions asked, they are the authority.

Sound familiar? Just like a factory I think we have designed our schools to engender the factory worker mentality in our kids. “You will conform to what I say, agree that it is right and do it the way I tell you.” If you cannot conform to that you are a trouble maker, a delinquent, ADHD, etc. We take our kids and shove them into tight little boxes that are stamped “Good Student”.

When a kid refuses to conform or simply cannot, they are branded as annoying, disrespectful, belligerence or a host of other labels/diagnoses rather than seen for what they are. Individuals. Unique. And all very different in how they learn and what they are stimulated by.

Holding Back the Gifted Kids – article referenced on air.

Episode 171 Gibson Household Case Study: Week of Family Sickness in Review

Join me as we discuss:

A tough week for Trey dealing with family sickness from the 2 year old to his wife Corrie.

What did Trey do that was good during this time?

Where did Trey drop the ball?

SHOW NOTES

Having sick babies just flat out sucks. Watching a 2 year old baby girl cough and every time cry from the pain of it is a hard thing for an involved Daddy to watch. That was our house this week. Starting at Anna and moving to Grant and Cora was difficult.

But then the more difficult happened. My wife go sick as well. My wife Corrie is one tough cookie, but she still asked for me to come home Tuesday afternoon and led to me staying home all week while she kicked a nasty and quite persistent high-grade fever and sore throat straight from the pit of hades.

I realized that I had a unique opportunity to see some really good and really bad things occur over the weekend. I handled some things with the finesse of a well greased machine, and other things I derped up in a way that would make fail-poster worthiness…ok….maybe not that bad.

Today we are going to talk about those and what I will do differently the next time.

Episode 18 The Real Family Guys Podcast: New Cohost=Legit!

Join me as we discuss:

The new Real Family Guys Podcast Legit cohost Jeff Emery! BOOM BABY!

Who is this new guy and what’s the skinny on him?

Who would Jeff take with him into a zombie apocalypse?

SHOW NOTES

Since the very sad leaving of my good friend Paul RFGP was has a void to fill. A few months ago I had my friend Jeff Emery on the show to discuss raising kiddos that have incurable diseases and also parenting through divorce. At that time he noted that he really like the format of what FPN and RFGP is doing and would have “loved to do something like this.”

Though at that time RFGP was set with hosts, I filed it away as interesting. When Paul first let me know that we would be recording our last RFGP I experience a genuine sense of loss, but I remembered filing away Jeff’s comments. With very little deliberation, I contacted Jeff and asked if he would be interested.

As excited as he was, he very wisely asked for a bit of time to think about it and after a few days he agreed to be the new cohost of RFGP. And thus begins the newest chapter in The Real Family Guys Podcast.

Today we get to know Jeff as he tells us a bit about himself, where he’s from, and his passion for working with families to help them take parenting to the next level. We also ask Jeff the hard questions like:

Tell me about some crazy experience you’ve had.
Who made a difference in your life and why?
Have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction?
In the event of a zombie apocalypse, top 5 people you would want with you?

Episode 170: Lessons from Sandy: Kids and Disasters

Join me as we discuss:

Both what to do with kids and disasters if directly affected (e.g. Hurricane Sandy).

What do those not affected by Sandy absolutely NEED to learn from those affected.

7 things that your kid will likely need from you if you are dealing with a natural disaster.

What are the 6 survival needs that a person needs to address and be ready with?

SHOW NOTES

In the advent of Hurricane Sandy, we have seen some incredibly destructive forces that have wreaked havoc on the United States east coast. It brings to mind that no matter how secure we may feel in this moment, we are not assured that tough things will not happen to us.

So when things go bad, what do we need to do for our kids. How do we respond so that they can accept the current situation without loosing it.

Let your kids know that it is going to be okay.
Be ready to comfort more than you ever have.
Do not meltdown. It’s okay to be sad and cry, but don’t blow.
Establish routines ASAP.
Teach them to notice the helpers around them.
Help your fellow man.
Do not lose your principle when things get tough.

Also, what can we that are not directly affected do? Bad things are inevitable and going to happen to us. So what would you do if the store shelves were empty and what are the six basic thing we need to survive? Being prepared when things are good is the best policy.

Food
Water
Shelter
Energy
Security
Sanitation and Health

Episode 169: Talk Isn’t So Cheap as a Parent

Join me as we discuss:

The power of talking to your kid: how it’s more than just a feel-goody experience.

How ever basic interaction with your kid produces BETTER RESULTS than actually going to school.

Studies to back all this up.

We talk all the time here at FPN on how talking and relationship with our kids is vitally important. Today we bring in the science on the matter and discuss how research has shown that when talking is compared to better academic results than the tasks that get performed at school.

When we talk to our kids, we produce more affluent kiddos as well.

What’s fascinating about this is that when our kids are more affluent, they are more likely to create more assertive kids. These are the kids who are capable of arguing with the teacher that is just flat-out wrong. That’s the type of kid I want.

I want my kid to know that it’s okay if teachers don’t have all the answers or are wrong and that it’s okay to disagree with them. But do it in respect.

SHOW NOTES

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