Episode 162: Imperfect Parents are Perfect for Kids!

Imperfect Parents.Join me as we discuss:

How our imperfections are in fact quite necessary.

How anything worth doing is worth doing wrong…wait….

How our crashing and burning is very vital to being great parents.

 

We live in a society that tells us to be the best you can be.  Parents watch other parents with the scornful eye and all of us are expected to be perfect.  Even Grammy Sue would say “anything worth doing is worth doing right.” 

But I say horse-crap! 

Today we discuss how this short-sighted mentality has bred a crop of parents that have learned to not execute on anything unless all of the conditions are in perfect alignment for success.  We have lost the risk in our life-tasks that helps hone and sharpen our abilities, all in the name of “perfection.”  

In the shooter world (I’m an avid shooter if you didn’t know) there is a phrase that I love.  Amateurs train until they get it right.  Professionals train until they get it wrong.  You see, when you push your limits and boundaries, you are destined to fail.  But those failures are fantastic!

And there is no magical shield that protects us from this phenomenon in parenting.  As a parent you will screw up.  It is inevitable.  But there is an inherent power and healing that needs to occur between parent and kiddo during that time.  

So I say, be the perfect parent by embracing  and growing from your imperfections.  Maybe, juuuust maybe, our kids will learn that it’s okay to screw up and grow from their screw ups too. 

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Episode 15 The Real Family Guys Podcast: Tolerance Isn’t a Bad Word

Tolerance Isn't a Bad WordJoin Paul and I as we discuss:

The literal definition of tolerance and how we have skewed it to mean condone.

How it’s absolutely possible to tolerate beliefs that differ from ours, without saying we agree with it.  

How our kids are watching our every move, and if we adopt this tolerance/condone word substitution, we may be shooting ourself in the foot.

Today my great friend and co-host Paul and I embark on what was potentially the most uncomfortable show to record.  We discuss an article written, discussing a comeback to the Mix It Up planning for promoting homosexuality in their schools.

Paul and I have been very open about our beliefs as Bible believing Christians, but Paul and I both agree that many in both the Christian and Gay Communities have taken this too far.  Rather than caring about people we use our belief systems to try and push our agenda.  In turn we push each other farther away and end up hating one another.

We have fundamentally confused the words tolerance (accepting difference in beliefs or behaviors) and condoning (to approve or sanction something).  We need to be teaching our kids:

  • There are other beliefs other than our own.
  • Why we believe what we do.
  • That it is perfectly okay for people to believe differently than ourselves.
  • That we can leave at peace with someone that thinks we are wrong. 
  • That life intrinsically has value, even if we think their beliefs are incorrect.

 

SHOW NOTES

The Affluent Student – Pauls awesome site.  

 

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Episode 161: Jeff Emery – When Nothing Has Worked with My Kid

Parenting Pyramid by Arbinger InstituteJoin me as we discuss:

The answer to  that infamous question: “what do I do when nothing has worked.”

What if grounding, taking stuff away, and whoopin’ em just isn’t cutting it?

Trey, my kid doesn’t like me so my teaching isn’t working.  What now?

How do you make this work if I’m separated from my ex-spouse?  

 

So many parents are frustrated because they have gone from expert to expert with no  major results with their kids.  Is all hope lost? Is there nothing we can do?  Absolutely false and there is hope!

Today my great friend Jeff Emery is on for his second time to discuss the Parenting Pyramid and how to find, on that spectrum, where our issue occurs.  I know sometimes I am afraid to admit that maybe it’s me that generating the issues I’m bumping in to, but there is an inherent freedom to that.  

But, instead, I hammer on correcting my kiddo.  Taking away privileges  grounding them, or worse yet: yelling.  *gasp  But what do we do when we’ve tried all the things we’ve been taught, heard about, or even seen on TV with no results?  

Jeff walks us through the Parenting Pyramid and potentially unlocks why you’ve been having such a hard time with your kid:

  • Correction
  • Teaching
  • Parent/Child Relationship
  • Executive Parenting
  • Way of Seeing

 

SHOW NOTES

Click Here to see a large version of the Parenting Pyramid by The Arbinger Institute.

Jeff’s Website – great site Jeff has put together with a blog!

Leadership and Self Deception – one of my personal favorite books by The Arbinger Institute. 

The Anatomy of Peace – another personal favorite of mine by Arbinger.  

 

 

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Episode 160: 10 Things You Should NEVER Do As a Parent

Top 10 Things to Neer DoJoin me as we discuss:

Top 10 things you should never to as a parent.

SHOW NOTES

Let’s be honest, we all have our things that we do really well in parenting, and those things that we totally derp up.  I get that.   I have them too.  But are there a set of things that we should spend more time on not doing.  I say yes.  

Today we discuss those things, why they are not good ideas, and how to counter them.  I admit that I have to swallow my pride and admit to my own screw ups in these matters.  

  • Give In
  • Not walk the talk.
  • Lack of Discipline
  • Take your kids side….always.
  • Be absent.
  • Keep kids from experiencing failure.
  • Say “because I said so.”
  • Yell at kiddos outside of life-threatening situations.
  • Deny choices or give too many choices.
  • Give kids all the crappy jobs.

 

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Episode 14 The Real Family Guys Podcast: Dealing with Teen Attitudes

Teen AttitudeJoin Paul and I as we discuss:

So what does a parent do with a kid that is copping an attitude?

What causes the attitude from my kid that used to be so sweet?

How lowering and eliminating attitude is possible, but not with current strategies.  

 

SHOW NOTES

The Affluent Student – Paul’s awesome site.  You’ve got to check out his articles on his 25 lbs weight loss.

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Episode 159: Meeting Beneath the Old Georgia Pine-A Lesson in Negotiation

Georgia Pine NegotiationJoin me as we discuss:

Should a parent negotiate with their children and if you do will it make them little snots?

Where do hard-headed little kiddos come from?

Best 7 tips on negotiation I recommend.  

What is your fate if you do not learn to negotiate with your kid…you won’t like it. 

I want to apologize in advance for my singing.  My voice is still bronchitis-ey.  So lets blame it on that.  

 

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Episode 158 Criticizing Your Parenting: Not Just Ya Mama Anymore

Criticizing parents. Photo compliments of dougvdotcom at Flickr.Join me as we discuss:

How to handle those parents that solicit that advice we just don’t want…and often don’t need!

I’ll give you three options on how to approach it, and no, I don’t suggest you punch them in the face!

Is it possible to do this, without burning the relationship with the person: YES!  

If it’s someone from Walmart making the suggestion: go ahead and slip their kid a 5-Hour Energy.  *snicker

 

 

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Episode 157: FPN Classic on I’m the Parent You’re the Kid Mentalities

Positional vs Persuasive Power

Photo compliments of sponng at Flickr.

Join me as we discuss:

An FPN Classic remake…thanks to my shot voice.

Probably one of my newer personal favorites on “I’m the parent your the kid so do what I say” type parenting.

How a different type of parenting, called persuasive parenting, is more effective.  

 

 

 

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Episode 156 Dealing with Other Parents and Other Kids at School

dealing with kids at school

Photo compliments of zzclef at Flickr.

Join me as we discuss:

Listener question: “Do you suggest going through the school if your kid has an issue with another child?”

Also: “Do you deal directly with the parent?”

We cover these two questions in depth to prepare your kid, and you, for those kids.

 

 

 

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