Archives for 2013

Episode 32 RFGP Kid Konnection: Ways to Build Relationship and Connect with Your Bambinos

Connection by schwatoo at Flickr.

Join me as we discuss:

One of the most important things in getting our kids to behave the way we want: connection.

Why is this connection so important to our kiddos?

We go over a great article from Ahaparenting.com on 10 ways to connect with our kid.

SHOW NOTES

Parents often sponge up techniques, strategies, and little things they can “do” to work on their kid. But what if I told you that it is actually more important to lean how to BE with our kids.

Sometimes, without even meaning it, we can be a million miles away still mentally trapped behind our desks while we play with our kids or glued to our iPhones while our kid tells us a story. And I know. I know. Some of their stories make us want to find a happy place.

But our kids want our undivided attention.

They want to know that they have our eyes, ears, and heart. They want to know that we are so interested in them we are willing to give them our everything to hear what they have to say, what they think, and ultimately what they are going to do.

We MUST learn how to connect with our child.

Resources

10 Habits Article – article referenced in todays show. Great article and check it out.

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Something Different…and FPN Blog

I’m Sick_FrannyFotography™ at Flickr.

Well, I feel like crap tonight. Ever since the rough weekend I had this last weekend, something snuck up on me (coughing, sneezing, stuffy-head) and some other overall nastiness. Due to feeling like a bruised up turd, I’m not sleeping well. I went three pages into my show notes and woke up on my computer and decided I”m going to put myself into a Nyquil coma and cash-out for the night.

But I don’t want to leave you guys without something to chew on parentally. So while I’m guzzling down the crappiest tasting goo ever, that tastes like sweet liquid honey when you feel like doo.

My wife Corrie wrote an exceptional blog this on FPN’s blog page. She was going to release it on Thursday morning, but after reading it I BEGGED her to let me put it up today. Corrie discusses overcoming fears of affection. Great read and you gotta check it out!

Corrie’s Blog Post – seriously, one of her best.

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Episode 197 Becoming a Good Daddy

Good Daddy by jep42 at Flickr.

Join me as we discuss:

*Listener question of “how do I be a nurturing father.”

*How nurturing is extraordinarily masculine.

*Where to Start and my Resources pages.

*3 steps to becoming a nurturing daddy.

SHOW NOTES

Our culture seems to be infatuated with making men out to be bread-winners and tough, but not nurturers.

Nurturing by definition is to help something grow. We want our kids to grow in to successful adults, but often lack the skills on how to nurture our kids.

Then enters the ago-old cliche that nurturing is a woman’s job. Horse crap!

Men can be nurturing, caring, emotional, and kind without being sappy. They can still watch ESPN or go hunting without sacrificing the nurturing part of being a daddy. For most of us men we pride ourselves in being efficient, but have you seen a kid without a nurturing daddy? They are often very difficult to raise, and that is very inefficient.

So do yourself a favor today, kick back, listen to this podcast, and learn to parent like a daddy.

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Episode 31 RFGP Healthy Talk – Trimming the Fat from our Way of Thinking about Food?

Body Image by LauraLewis23 at Flickr.

Join us as we discuss:

A great article on 15 tips for raising kids with positive body image.

Some ways we can make the elusive body-image issue and turn it into something that sticks with our kids.

How Jeff and I use some of these techniques and a great personal story by Jeff on one of his kiddo’s body image.

SHOW NOTES

Sometimes body image and our kids can cause us some serious grief. So how do we counter this?

Today Jeff and I discuss an article on 15 ways we can help kids not go nuts with body image and actually develop some positive ideas of body.

Most times when we hear our kids say “I’m fat” or “I look so fat in this” we respond with a classic “oh. No you don’t.” This….is not necessarily the best technique. Find out today how we can combat it.

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Episode 196 Interview with John Fuller from Focus on the Family: Raising Teens

Join me as we discuss:

Special guest John Fuller from Focus on the family joins us answering what are some common mistakes parents with teens make?

How can a mom or dad determine which things are important and which things aren’t as they raise a teen?

And my personal favorite: Which is easier? Parenting a teen boy or a teen girl?

SHOW NOTES

I got the unique honor of getting to raise an adopted-by-heart kiddo from the age of 13 until she left for college. And I say an honor very sincerely. She was a hot-mess, as a good friend of mine would say, when she first came to us, but I’m happy to say that after several years she has turned into a woman I’m proud to call my daughter.

But being honest with ourselves, our kids seem to change as they hit certain ages.

They seem to morph into new beings that just don’t jive with our parenting or the techniques that we have used up until this point. This will lead us to copious amounts of frustration and sometimes anger causing us to believe that teens are the metaphoric devil.

But what if I told you it didn’t have to be that way? John shows us some fantastic insights on common mistakes and decisions we all face with teens.

RESOURCES

Dad Matters – Johns blog designed to encourage every dad, step-dad and father figure on his journey. You can find it at: http://community.focusonthefamily.com/b/dad-matters/default.aspx

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Episode 195 And I Took the Road Less Traveled

Join me as we discuss:

A reminder as to why we are doing the work we are doing on our parenting.

Why we must stay focused, even when it’s hard

Trey’s audio clip remake on the Parenting Peptalk inspired by Kid President.

SHOW NOTES

Sometimes on the journey of going from rough to good, or good to great, we forget the end result. We may struggle to remember why we decided to take the road less traveled.

AND THIS ROAD IS HARD! Not cool Robert Frost….as Kid President would say.

Today we take a break from the philosophies, strategies, and techniques to rest a bit and reflect on what we are doing. To remember why it is we are learning all of this new stuff and who we are doing it for.

We end on a Family Podcast Network Premier audio creation just for you listeners on a Parenting Peptalk.

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Episode 30 RFGP Getting the Ball Rolling on Speaking Positively

Speak Positively by Dunechaser at Flickr

Join me as we discuss:

How to get the ball rolling on speaking positively to our kids, when we’ve been stuck in the negative.

A wonderful article on 52 Things to Say that Will Make Your Kids Feel Great.

Jeff and I cover our favorites on this article, why they are our favorites, and how we have been successful as well as crashed and burned.
SHOW NOTES

In a society that seems to encourage us to be negative, our kids often don’t come out on top. Being able to say nice and kind things to our kiddos is underdeveloped and essential to happy parents.

Today Jeff and I discuss speaking positively and our favorites of of the 51 kind things you can say to your kid.

RESOURCES:

52 Things You Can Say – article Jeff and I reference in the show.

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Episode 194 The Parental Temper Tantrum

Join me as we discuss:

The parental temper tantrum. Yes, we do it too!

Where parent tantrums stem from.

How these surreptitious behaviors actually teach and reinforce our kids tantrums.
SHOW NOTES

Many of us have seen and heard the dastardly temper tantrum in our kid. The screeching yell. The flopping the flailing, the overall makes-me-wanna-punch-you-in-the-face behaviors. No parent likes them.

But what if I told you that many of these behaviors are taught to our kids from us? That the very fit we loath in our kids, came directly from us? But don’t despair. This also means that there are things we can do to curb the nasty in ourselves, and inherently…our kid.

References

The Libertarian Homeschooler – probably one of my top 5 favorite FB pages. Wonderful understanding of parenting and a person after my own heart in terms of schooling.

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Episode 193 Shame, Shame, Shame: The Worst Parenting Technique…Shaming

Shame on You by jacicita at Flickr.

Join me as we discuss:

What exactly is shaming and and how so many parents turn to it without even thinking.

How most parents condemn the idea of shaming, and then shame their kid.

Why is it such an issue when we know by the definition alone that it sucks for kids?

New ways to approach where we once would shame.

SHOW NOTES

Grant, you should know better son.” “Anna, why in the world did you think it was okay to…” “Cora! What were you thinking babe?!?!?!” All of these are statements that I’ve popped off at one time or another to my kids.

But I think that the question lies in this: would I ever let someone talk to me like that at work? The answer is: it’s unlikely.

Shaming is simply this – compeling our kids through painful emotions resulting from awareness of inadequecy or guilt. Do you know what guilt defines as? Remorse caused by feeling responsible for something. Does ANY OF THIS sound like something you would want to experience? NOOOOOOO!!!!

Today we talk about changing the shame-moster into something that actually grows and teaches kids.

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Episode 29 RFGP Good Grief: How to Handle the Death of Animals and Loss

Good Grief by cplbasilisk at Flickr.

Join us as we discuss:

Handling grief from the death of a pet, to divorce, to mass shootings.

Why we are so reluctant to discuss these difficult topics.

Good-to-practice techniques on helping kids process, grow, and even get better at handling loss.

SHOW NOTES

The are few things that are absolute in life. There are so many things that we can change, even things that we think we cannot change that we really can. Life is so transient that if we are truly motivated it is quite impressive what we are capable of doing.

But there lies one irrefutable fact that we hate, and I mean absolutely hate to admit to: we will all experience death one day.

I will. You will. Our kids will. And there is nothing that we can do to stop it. Postpone it. Sure! And I think that we should. But we simply must accept that it is inevitable.

So you might be thinking “oh. Thanks for that little pick-me-up Trey.” You’re welcome! I kid. But what if I told you that you can actually get good at handling loss and deaths. Doesn’t make the pain go away, but it can get easier to deal with. And it all starts as a kiddo.

You see, when Elvis the hamster dies, it is a great time to practice teaching our kids how to hurt, express, and cope healthily.

In reality, loss and the pain that comes from death and loss, is actually the sign of intimacy. The by-product of closeness that shouldn’t be avoided, but celebrated in some ways.

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