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Working With Your Tough Kids and Even Those That Aren't

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Episode 304 Foster Kids: How FPN Can Help You Cause I Have One Too

 

Lost Children by tomaszd at Flickr

Lost Children by tomaszd at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:

How The Family Podcast can help you with your new or long-time foster/adopt kiddo.

Our experiences with our foster to adopts kiddo and how well the FPN thinking and techniques have worked.  

A foundation of 4 things you HAVE to be doing for success. 

 

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Episode 303 Media Sucks Monday

Media Sucks MondayJoin us as we discuss your media requests:

The two worst arguments against homeschooling, while also being the most popular.  

Four ways to help boys handle emotions. 

Teacher caught grabbing kindergarten student by the face.

7 year old suspended for groping a girl.  How parents need to also teach kids assertiveness.  

 

SHOW NOTES

Behold: The Two Absolutely Worst Arguments Against Homeschooling

Four Ways to Help Boys Process Emotions

Teacher Caught on Tape Grabbing Kindergartener by the Face

7 Year Old Kicked Out for Groping Girl

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FPN Blog: We Work Hard We Play Hard

 

We Work Hard We Play Hard

We Work Hard We Play Hard

A mantra you hear in our house repeated over and over and over and over, is the phrase “we work hard.  We play hard.”  Corrie and I desire to help our kids connect the action of hard work with value like money.  We want our kids to have cool toys, but we never want them thinking they miraculously appear out of thin air.

Toys, bikes, iPads, xBoxes, Xbox games, or PowerWheel vehicles, all come with an ascribed value typically tied to a set of manhours.

Of course kids want every toy in the world!  They don’t connect the amount of work hours that is connected to that item/toy/xBox game and frankly, most adults don’t either (I’m still relearning myself).  We rarely look at that $25 McDonalds bill and think “is this crappy-for-me hamburger, fried, and sugar water worth working at my job for 1 hour (if you make $25/hr)?”  Or look at that $200 iPhone and ask ourselves “does this phone help me enough to justify spending and entire days work on it?”

So how do we get our kids to do this.  To not want every toy they can ever see or want?  The solution: we have to teach them work ethic.

So many of you are wondering where The Real Family Guys Podcast is.  We passed our homestudy yesterday and the caseworker, in regards to the house, used the work “impeccable” and also noted that once our paperwork is done, she will verify us “on the spot.”  So we are likely weeks away from getting our baby in our home officially.

We had a wonderful celebratory evening last night with Outback Steakhouse, some sun tea, and a good Cherry Cavendish tobacco in my pipe.  My wife, who has busted so much butt getting this place in order, crashed out at 9:45pm, about the time that Jeff texted me.  He asked if we wanted to take a week off to enjoy the celebration, to which I agreed…and crashed out moments later.

So I have this morning off, as I do typically have many Fridays off during the summer, so I’m working on my homestead.  Anna elected to go with Momma early this AM to help her clean houses to which we pay her in accordance to how well she works.  After the chores that the kids did this morning (I did not ask them to….or even require it), Cora decided to come outside and help me work.  So we loaded her up with her shovel and got to work digging.

Cora Digging

Cora Digging

Let me explain how we do this.  I do not pay for kiddie-jobs.  By that I mean I do not pay kids big mooonies for working like a little kid.  If you work like a little kid I will pay you like a little kid.  If you work hard like an adult, I will pay you like an adult and it’s not uncommon for a 4 year old or a 6 year old to get paid minimum wage because my kids will BUST BUTT!

So Cora (4 y/o) asked to work today so she grabbed a shovel and she helped build water-retention berms around my new fruit trees.  When we work the kids frequently repeat the phrase “we work hard to play hard” over and over and over and over.  This is a good thing.  They are reminding themselves that we put in hard work so we can play hard.  If we want to have neat toys, or drink sodas at the part, or a sundry of other play-things we can do, we must put in hard work.  As Robert Heinlein was so fond of saying, “there’s no such thing as a free lunch.”

Cora Spreading Compost Pile Mulch

Cora Spreading Compost Pile Mulch

So Anna worked with Momma from 9am until 12pm while Cora worked from 10am until 12pm.  And she worked hard and better than some of the new young guys I’ve had on my teams over the years.  Kids can learn to work like adults, but only when adults do too.

Oooooh!!!!  You heard me.  To teach kids to be hard workers, we must first reject the consumer mindset ourselves.  We must learn to see every curtain, every bullet, every soda, every Snickers, as man hours…then teach that to your kiddos.

Yes, your kids can learn to love work because they will begin to realize that the things that they want are a job away….or maybe 2-5 jobs away.  But they will begin to develop a craving for work since, when they work hard, they play hard.

Cora Helping with Tree Berms

Cora Helping with Tree Berms

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Why U No Show Yesterday?

 

Homestead de GIbson

Homestead de GIbson Now 

So by now I assume you’ve discovered that there was no show yesterday.  Here’s an explanation as to why and a Gibson Family Update.  

Our daughter to be through foster to adopt is getting closer.  After an arduous time getting our house cleaned up and ready, we started on prepping for the Homestudy today (5/15/14).  This is where an agency comes to your house, interviews everyone, and inspects your house to see if it meets “Minimum Standards” for safety.  Don’t let that fool you.  The minimum standards binder is several inches thick of paper.  

So I was up until midnight last night with a headlamp on (The Streamlight ARGO I mentioned in the Gibson Gear episode) weedeating in the dark.  Basically, to meet these minimum standards, you have to divide by zero and engulf all of life into a safe box so I have been life-proofing (sarcasm rich here) our yard.  But I think we have it in the bag.

Our case worker is coming today at 4pm CST to interview us and check our house out.  With that said, I crawled into a fetal position and went to bed so I could get up and go to work early this morning.  I’ll be leaving early this afternoon so I can get home for the homestudy.  

So I request thoughts or prayers, whatever you believe in is welcomed.  I’ll keep you informed.

Before

Before

Homestead de GIbson

After

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Episode 302 FPN Gibson Gear: Family Oriented Gear Hacks

 

Gibson Loadout

Gibson Loadout

Join us as we discuss:

The gear the Homestead de Gibson uses to make parenting a bit easier.

The hacks that we’ve developed that helps Corrie (wife) and I manage a household with 5 kids (about to be 6).

Some suggestions on things that you might want to get to make your household operate slick as snot.

 

SHOW NOTES
Cosco Umbrella Stroller, Sleep Monsters

ERGObaby Baby Carrier

Melissa & Doug Pounding Bench

Melissa & Doug Deluxe Easel

Melissa & Doug Shopping Cart

Melissa & Doug Blocks

Power Wheels Jeep Wrangler

Apple iPad 2 (16GB, WiFi, Black)

Kindle Fire HD

Chicco Caddy Hook On Chair

Regalo Easy Gate

Radio Flyer Heavy Duty

SoundAsleep Air Mattress

Go Kots cots

Fom Bags

Nerf N-Strike Elite: Strongarm Blaster

Nerf N-Strike Elite Retaliator Blaster

Hooter Hiders Cotton Nursing Cover

One Size Elite FuzziBunz Cloth Diapers

Streamlight Protac Flashlight 2AA

Diaper Dude Diaper Bag, Camouflage

Griffin Survivor Case for iPad 2/3/4

Griffin Survivor Military Duty Case

Crocs Kids

Melissa & Doug Basic Skills Placemat Bundle

Maxpedition Kodiak

Streamlight Argo Headlamp

 

 

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Episode 89 RFGP Why Use Carrots and Sticks if Your Kid’s Not a…Donkey

 

Carrot  Stick  Love by opensourceway at Flickr

Carrot Stick Love by opensourceway at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:

How the carrot and stick approach of rewards and punishments need to be weaned the older kids get.

Why external motivation like rewards and punishments bite us later in life.

How to teach internal motivation to kids without rewards and punishments. 

 

SHOW NOTES

Motivating Kids without Carrots and Sticks

Motivating Your Adolescent to Perform

Teen Spirit – Helicopter Parenting Has Crippled American Teenagers

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Episode 301 FPN Spanking: The Anti-Freedom

 

Chained Sky by Clearly Ambiguous at Flickr

Chained Sky by Clearly Ambiguous at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:

How spanking is converse to what we typically believe about personal sovereignty and freedom.  

The difference between teaching kids to do right for fear of pain versus doing right because they recognize it is right through the freedom of choice.

How spanking is not raising freedom minded men and women, but those that submit to authority…and the bigger stick.

 

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Episode 88 RFGP The X-Factor in Parenting

 

The X Factor by Lief Carlsen at Flickr

The X Factor by Lief Carlsen at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:

The X-Factor in parenting and how there are some factors that, when considered, make us better parents.

How taking your parenting to the next level is possible, even if you are already a stable parent. 

 

SHOW NOTES

40 Developmental Assets for Adolescents 

 

 

 

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Episode 300 FPN Girls and Relationships: Why It’s Harder on Them

 

Girl Crying by clazzi at Flickr

Girl Crying by clazzi at Flickr

Join us as we discuss:\

A look at why girls take relationship breakups harder than most boys, and what it means for us as parents.

How girls self-identity is often found in their relationships rather than in their abilities and accomplishments. 

How we can raise girls without overemphasizing relationships and focus on abilities, knowledge, and skills as well as relationships.

 

SHOW NOTES

Girls Who Get Caught in Bad Romance Risk More than Just their Broken Hearts

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Episode 299 FPN Kids and Consent

 

Happening Without Your Permission by What What at Flickr

Happening Without Your Permission by What What at Flickr F

Join us as we discuss:

How we value kids meaning their “yes” and “no” but how we often parent in a way that robs them of their consent.  

A few common areas we take from our kids without their consent.

Some ideas on how to give kids consent back.

 

SHOW NOTES

4 Ways Parents Teach Kids That Consent Doesn’t Matter 

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