Photo compliments of NotoriousJEN at Flickr.

This week I was slightly retrospect on my childhood, the things that we did, and the stuff that I am, quite frankly, surprised we survived.  I can remember riding down the 15 foot tall mound of dirt with our bikes until we went so vertical that we were thrown over the handlebars.  Or when we thought it would be a good idea to use a speedbump to ramp our bikes over a low hanging chain.  I know, I know.  But at the time it seemed like an awesome idea….

My thoughts began to turn quickly to responsiblity and the levels of perceived “laziness” parents report from their kids.  I began to wonder, what has changed.  Quickly ruling out genetic mutations I fell back to my second most likely question, are we in fact teaching this to our kids?

To find out more check out Episode 85, Chores: Load Em’ Up or Let Kids sit.

Many parents have bumped into the question of whether they should allow their children to have cell phones.  The allure of “always having a way to reach them” tantalizes many parents into adding a line for $9.99 and unlocks a host of new issues to handle.  Data, texting, the newest cell phone, the fact that the fruit-based electronic company keeps introducing a new device with a bigger number before the GS leaving us to wonder what it really does different from our inferior model number.  But all the time wishing we had that new phone.
Even this evening I watched many of the youth at our church with Apple 4GS’s leaving me to wonder “man, what do their parents do.” I noticed almost an immediate disdain for these seemingly rambunctious youngsters having this golden bar of iGoodness in their hands.  I love my 3GS and have decided that it is going to service me for a long time before I even think about upgrading.

But what interested me was this upset feeling at these youth having high-dollar phones.  My thoughts were “so what? What does it matter that they have these phones.  Their parents will have to pay any expenses regardless.”  Then I began to wonder, “but what if one of these kiddo’s are truly responsible to handle that phone?  Would my over-generalization actually inhibit perfectly capable kids?”  My answer was probably.

So what are the answers.  What age is old enough for a cell phone and to have a Facebook account.  What is too long to play on video games and should I deny my kid access to any and all tech devices.

The answers to these questions and more are discussed and answered on Episode 83 Techno-Kids and Paul McGuire from AffluentStudent.com.

Photo compliments of Photo Gallery at Flickr.

One of my sons best attributes is his connection with his emotions.  He can be very sweet, empathic and thoughtful…especially for a 4 year old.  He has always been quick to tend to his little sister and think of others when they are sad.  He experiences pure unadulterated joy of things that surprises me from time to time and can spread smiles across the faces of my wife and I quite easily.

But there is another side to this coin.  He also experiences saddness, dissappointment, and anger in higher doses.  And issue of which I have started feeling increased levels of frustration with.  I have noticed that my ability to curb that frustration has begun to wane so I turned this week to some introspection.

I began to realize that his emotionality is a part of his personality and could be something that makes him millions of dollars or makes him the most happy in his line of work.  My frustration, thought I do not feel guilty for it, can be misappropriated.  If I use that frustration, be hard on him, and try to make him into something he is not, I can expect a very bumpy ride for the both of us.

However, if I can learn to harness that personality trait, temper it, and help him create a conduit for that seemingly frustrating experience, I can help him be the best he can be.
To hear how this story ended check out Episode 82:

Breaking Whining Behavior: Does it Begin with the Kids…Or With Us?

Anna comforting Daddy while he is sick. "Ahh...poor daddy."

This week I had the…ahem…privilege of contracting a virus.  It has left me mostly on my butt or back with very little action and very little to do.  I am catching this virus on the tail end of our kiddos having the same thing so my kids, who’s affect has been very depressed and lethargic lately, took a major rebound this weekend.  They now have their energy, playfulness, and sense of humor back!  It’s been quite fun watching 3 kids with about a weeks worth of pent up energy coming out…even if I could not partake in it.

Throughout their illnesses we have made an effort to be very compassionate with them.  Asking them if they are alright, holding them, comforting them, giving late-night baths to bring down fevers, giving the “ahh.  Poor sweetie”s and allowing them to sleep in our bed regardless of the flopping and kicking (I’m quite confident we may not be able to have kids due to trauma impact to…well…me).  It can be quite stressful on us as parents and creates extra work and requires more emotional control but my wife and I believe in being especially nurturing and loving when our kids are sick.  Lots of research shows that the psychological components of physical healing are just as, and in some cases, more important.

Now that their stint of sicknesses are over, and mine have begun, I have been on the receiving end of our work now.  Let me explain.  While I was resting on the couch yesterday my oldest daugther Anna walked in and says “how are you feeling Daddy?”  I replied with a “oh, not so good sweetie and thank you.”   She proceeded to walk over, stroke my face, and say “ahh.  Poor Dad.”  This was exactly how we had been treating the kiddos earlier this week and it was neat to see it portrayed back to us.

It served as a good reminder that our kids are watching and learning how to act, so be how you want them to be.  Plus, you never know when circumstance might reverse.  Could you stand yourself if you switched places with your kid?

Even my 2 year old Cora came to love on Daddy.

For a limited time only we are giving away a FREE copy of Elizabeth Pantley’s The No Cry Solution to Discipline.  For all those that subscribe to the email notification you will be entered into a random drawing next Friday (3/23/12). Sign up is free and you can opt-out at any time. Your information is never shared with any one else since I hate Spam as much as you!

We publish new episodes of The Family Podcast Network several times a week. Join our instant notification list to get notified about new episodes and their topics.

Photo compliments of samantha celera at Flickr.

Recently I was reminded the value of taking a look at that little stuff that my kids do that irritated me.  My oldest daugther Anna has had a seemingly annoying habit of tying knots on anything that she can.  I’ve walked in on my daugther and her brother tied together, unable to separate themselves.  Anna’s head hung low since she knew this was a no-no in our household.
After months of fighting her on this issues I began to wonder if, in fact, this habit could be used to her benefit.  So I brainstormed.  I have always been fond of military surplus stuff and a popular item right now are the Survival Braclets made from 550-Cord or Paracord.  I began to think, what if we could direct this desire to tie knots into something like this.  If she likes it, she could make all sorts of things and then sell them!

Photo compliments of SonnyandSandy at Flickr.

My natural tendency was to squash this “bad habit” rather than evaluating whether it could be molded in to something that would be profitable for Anna.  Many of the “things I hate that my kid does” I have received over the years are things you would see in a CEO of a major corporation.

Are you discouraging success in your kid?  Can you flip that into a positive and teach them to focus their energy in the right place?

For more check out our Podcast Episode on this topic where we go into this more deeply!

We publish new episodes of The Family Podcast Network several times a week. Join our instant notification list to get notified about new episodes and their topics.

There was a great post at HowToBeADad on 7 Rules for Non-Parent Etiquette.  I highly recommend it for an good laugh that makes you go “ah! I’m not the only one that thinks that from time to time.”