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Leave Me Alone! | The Family Podcast Network

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Jan 09

Leave Me Alone!

Gotta love a blog being started out with a picture of a toilet. What's even more interesting is that as I was trying to find a picture I wanted to use I was having some slight anxiety issues with how many pictures I was finding of dirty bathrooms. It really bothered me. However, I would never use a picture of my bathroom because it certainly isn't clean enough to share on the good 'ol internet. Any ways, that's neither here nor there.

So, back to the toilet. We will never be accused here at FPN of being secretive of any topics. This includes bathroom time. Don't get all squirmy and grossed out on me. It's is a fact that will never ever ever change. Everyone uses the bathroom. What absolutely never fails to amaze me time and time again is

how do my children always know when I am using the restroom?

Every. Single. Time. I know that every person, man or woman, reading this blog are shaking their heads in total agreement. It's truly amazing. They can be down the road, at a friends house, spending the night, and something will beckon them home to their bathroom. I can just see it as I walk into the bathroom, baby is napping, other kids happy watching a movie, that there is some cosmic thing that occurs. All the kids stop whatever they are doing. They pause looking thoughtfully into the abyss. And it hits them. They ALL have to either a: ask mom a question, or b: absolutely have to go to the restroom at that very moment or it is very likely their little bladders will explode all over the hall.

I say all of this and set up this incredibly elaborate and relatable story for what reason? What is the most common phrase to come out of our mouths at this instance?

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!

Moving on from bathroom humor to maybe watching a movies, cooking dinner, folding clothes, talking on the phone. Believe me, the possibilities are endless. There is that time, or several times, in all of our days that we will recite that phrase to our children. It may be the classic 'leave me alone'. It might be the more polite and controlled, 'can you give me a moment?'. It could even be the command with a please, 'leave me alone, please!'.

So what's wrong with this? Why are we not allowed to tell our children to go away? Well, it all comes down to it all comes back to us. No, there is nothing wrong with a 'can I have a moment' or 'I am almost done'. But we all know our children are our little mimickers. What we do, they do. If we yell in frustration every time they catch us doing something important, which face it, it seems like everything is important, they are going to do the same thing right back.

Imagine walking into your child's room for who knows what reason. Maybe you need to ask them a question about a school project, or they need to finish a chore. Whatever, be creative. They are intently watching 'Bo on the Go,' my 2 year old's new favorite show. (hey, that rhymed!) Instead of them stopping and making eye contact with you why you ask them a question, they, without even looking at you yell 'LEAVE ME ALONE!' Oh no they didn't! But yes, yes they did. My first reaction as a parent is to snatch their little butt up and let them know that in no way are they allowed to talk to mommy that way! But wait. Where did they learn that from.......Dannnnnng Ittttttt! It was ME!

In the voice of Jacques from 'Finding Nemo' 'I am ashamed.'

I can already hear the haters telling me, 'but I'm the parent' blah blah blah. I agree, you are the parent, you are the adult. So try acting like one. Be the example of patience. Be the example of kindness. Even when it's annoying as crap! I've been known to throw rolls of toilet paper at the door all while yelling to leave me alone while going to the rest room. Wow, that's mature. I have also been known to yell at a kid coming out of their room at bed time not even giving them a chance to explain when come to find out they are not feeling well and running fever. Wow, talk about feeling like a tool.

I started all this out with a toilet all to make the point that we all get irritated at times.

We all have those times where we wish our kids would just leave us alone for a bit, or maybe longer. 

And that's ok. However, ask that out of respect, patience and kindness from them. How you treat them is how they will treat others...and you. And I don't know about you, but I would prefer not to be the hypocritical parent that yells at their kid for yelling at you the exact same way you yelled at them earlier in the day. It just kind of looks foolish when we do that.

So how should we handle the restroom dilemmas, the incredibly important tv show being interrupted, and so on and so forth?

Show them the same respect you would like for others to show you.

Let them know in a calm, firm voice that you need a few minutes, but after that your attention is all theirs, and then do it! Talk is cheap and kids know that. We've said it here before and we will say it again, love is spelled TIME. If your having a moment in the restroom, let your child, or husband, know that you will be out just as soon as humanly possible. If they come out of their room during bed time, stop and listen to what they have to say. If it's not important, firmly but compassionately guide them back to their beds.

The point of parents as examples can never be reiterated enough. How we treat our children as they are under our roof is who we send out into society. They will treat others that same way. I prefer to work with kind, patient, compassionate people. I want my children to have those qualities. Believe me, they will not learn those from school. But how awesome is it to think that maybe, just maybe, my kids might be teaching that to others!

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